Saturday, January 24, 2015

The Face of the Reptilian Father

When I was but a babe, his weakness was exploited and I was betrayed.

Help Me.

But the word 'fairness' never crossed my lips.

When I was overpowered and nearly lost my light, their bad luck became my good fortune.


But the words 'thank God' never crossed my lips.

When I made ties, they cut them.

Keep Going.

But the word 'justice' never crossed my lips.

When I took their light, my heart grew heavy.


But the word 'regret' never crossed my lips.

When we made the contract, my power retreated.

Help Me.

And the word 'Father' crossed my lips for the first time...

Sunday, January 11, 2015


In Japanese, nattoku 納得. At least as far as I can tell; English-Japanese dictionaries are usually useless when it comes to taking English words not so commonly used and providing colloquially-used synonyms for their Japanese counterparts.

Also, as far as I can tell, you need a phone. And, not just a landline phone, but a mobile phone. According to my wife, $100 per month is worth paying so that we'll be able to let each other know when we're going to be late for planned meetings. Yes, it's nice to get E.T.A. updates when you're expecting someone, but to the tune of one hundred dollars?... I'm happy for her to have one in case of emergencies, but personally, I'd rather not be that connected.

This is why I was somewhat relieved when my iPhone 5 finally reached the point of being useless when not connected to its charger (coincidentally right when my 2-year service contract with SoftBank expired) and I was able to leave it behind most days; I figured I could untether myself a little more from the A.D.D. world of instant information. And, since my 2-year contract was up, there would be no penalty payments for early termination.

But, it's easier said than done to free yourself from that world when the ones you love are firmly entrenched in it, so I finally gave in and decided to get another phone. And, even though I've had shit experiences as far as reliability goes with my two iPhones, I said 'fuck it' and decided to go with the iPhone 6, the latest model in a line of disappointing crap communication devices pedaled by Apple, Inc...

Twenty minutes after walking into a local SoftBank shop, I was well on my way to having my status as social-networking-while-on-the-go slave restored when the salesperson asked to see my alien registration card, which has the valid working visa period printed on it. He saw that it was less than two years and informed me that since the minimum service contract period was two years, I would have to pay for the new phone in one payment up front. "But, I've been with SoftBank for ten years now, often in this same situation, and have never been asked to pay in full up front," I said.

"I'm sorry, but that's the policy regarding foreigners and visas."

"Well, I don't think I want to pay around $1000 for a phone that I know will be useless in about two years time..." I held up my iPhone 5 with its dead battery inside.

"I understand," he replied.

So, I cancelled my service with SoftBank and walked out of the store feeling liberated and preparing to explain to the wife that I was just going to have to go without a mobile communication device in my pocket at all times. "Sorry honey, no can do; no phones for undependable foreign monkeys at SoftBank. What can ya do, you know. Oh, well..."

Long story short, she signed up for a second phone from her carrier DoCoMo (on payments which I'll be making) and handed it to me, and now I'm the soon-to-be-frustrated owner of an iPhone 6.

Ok, I have to admit it is a sexy phone, though...